Rapport Comes Before Influence
Friday
People understand words at the same rate that they speak them.
Have you ever thought of that? So one of the things you can do when you're in a conversation with someone about Islam is pay attention to the speed at which they talk, and make sure you talk at the same speed. This is their speed, and you will have the greatest chance of reaching them if you speak at their speed.
To go to a little more sophisticated level of gaining rapport, check this out, paraphrased from the same book:
One of the most important "rapport skills" you can learn is to listen to their intonation patterns and listen to the predicates they use. Do they use a lot of picture words or a lot of feeling words or a lot of hearing words? The whole sentence counts.
For example, "Well, it looks like a good opportunity but I feel I'm not ready for it."
This sentence tells you something about the sequence of how information is processed by this person. First they look (visual) and then they check their feelings (kinesthetic). There is no right or wrong in this. There is no good or bad. People process information in many different ways. Listen to the intonation. Listen to the sequence of their predicates. They will indicate how you should talk to them to have the best chance of getting through. Read more about that here.
Sometimes people use nothing but visual words. They'll say "I'm looking for a new stereo. I could see how it would help us have great evenings together." With this kind of person, it almost doesn't matter what the stereo sounds like. If you want to sell him a stereo, you're going to have to show him.
If someone is visually oriented, you will more successfully reach them if you speak in a way that is visually oriented too. Or sound-oriented, or feeling-oriented. Whatever they are.
Speak at the rate they speak. Speak with the same kinds of intonations. And speak to their primary sensory system. Do these things and your ability to get your message to penetrate will greatly improve.
Learn more about speaking to their sensory system.
Citizen Warrior is the author of the book, Getting Through: How to Talk to Non-Muslims About the Disturbing Nature of Islam and also writes for Inquiry Into Islam, History is Fascinating, and Foundation for Coexistence. Subscribe to Citizen Warrior updates here. You can send an email to CW here.
5 comments:
Brilliant post. Thanks for sharing.
About that vicious and violent jihadist who engaged in an vicious and murderous Islamic terror attack in New York City on Halloween day in the year 2017 had further proven by his own action and words the Islam is not a “peaceful religion” as some so falsely claim but a religion of violence and killing.
That jihadist /Muslim, Sayfullo Saipov,whose first name means “The Sword of Allah” who murdered eight people and injured twelve other people in New York City was following the instruction of the “holy book” of Islam, the Quran. For example, the Quran instructs in 9:123 . “O you who believe ! Fight those of the disbelievers who are close to you, and let them find harshness in you…” Maiming and murdering people who are non-Muslim in a jihad truck attack as the jihadist did is a very effective way show non-Muslims “Harshness.” Strange teachings for what some call a “peaceful religion.” Likewise the Quran teaches in 47:4 “When you encounter the disbeliever’s strike off their heads until you make a great slaughter among them…”A truck jihad attack can, for sure, make a greater “slaughter among them than a sword can.” As the Quran also instructs in 2:191. “Kill the disbeliever wherever we find them.”
All the while that jihadist was committing mass murder he was yelling out “Allah Akbar’ meaning “Allah is great” Islam is a false dangerous and deadly religion.
A typical Muslim , if there really is such a person, is so totally mind programmed by his imam into the closed Islamic mindset that he cannot and will not respond to either scrutiny of reason or logic when it's put to Islam being examined in an intelligent way.
No matter how eloquently the facts of reality many Muslims are so completely brainwashed that the evidence presented to them about the doctrinal and historical errors as well as contradictions are clearly shown to them , their minds and hearts won't be changed and they will not wake up to the truth about Islam being a religious hoax.
This is sad and tragic that they are so thoroughly indoctrinated that reason will have not effect on them. At least most of them.
All this is reminder of a truism that Benjamin Franklin had printed in his periodical entitled POOR RICHARD'S ALMANIC which is "To see by the eye of faith is to shut the door of reason."
The Greek philosopher Plato is one of the contributors to Western Civilization. He may shed some light into the subject of those people who are shackled in the chains and darkness of Islamic thought. In Plato’s REPUBLIC he gave an allegory of a cave where “the condition of men living in a sort of cavernous chamber…Here they have been from childhood, chained by leg and also by the neck, so that they cannot move and see only what is in front of them.”
This can fit into what the Imams do in the mosques and how they brainwash the young people in the madrassa’s by always programming Islamic doctrine into their victims and not exposing them to other worldviews. Furthermore, even in Islamic tradition when Muslims have their newborn child the father whispers words of the Quran into the infants ear so that that Quran verses are the first thing the newborn person hears. This programming process takes place all their lives. These are some of the chains that keep them bound in a mosque [cave]. The chains do not let them reach out for dialectic reasoning and let them examine the evidence both for as well as against, or even question whether Muhammad was a true prophet of God or not, and if the Quran is a hoax or not.
As the chains and darkness of the cave blinds and holds the prisoners back from reality, so Islamic propaganda holds back the cognition to reason with the question if Islam is true or not. They are forbidden from even thinking to question Islam. Furthermore, if a Muslim by some miracle wakes up to the truth about Islam, it would be like the man in Plato’s cave allegory who was released from his chains and taken outside to the real world. At first direct light would be painful and disorienting, it would take some time for him to understand what the truth is all about, he even might cling to the shadows and still for a time believe some of the illusions to be real. But he would finally come to know “what he had formerly seen was meaningless illusion.” And that was “what passed for wisdom in his former dwelling place.”And that the other cave prisoners also needed to see the light [the truth] for he “was sorry for them.” and he would re-enter the cave just to rescue them. Nevertheless, the cave prisoners wouldn’t understand and “if they could lay hand on the man who was trying to set them free.” And if they could “they would kill him.” Likewise, when someone escapes from the shackles of Islam, those still in the darkness of this religion would not understand and if possible kill him for leaving Islam, and even more so if he were to try to enlighten them about the truth about Islam. For these people in Islam are chained to an empty imitation of truth and godliness.
In classical work of ancient Greek literature, by Plato, entitled THE APOLOGY OF SOCRATES it in written that Socrates had said that “An unexamined life is not worth living.” Likewise, in may also be said that “An unexamined religion is not worth believing in.” This is said about all religions. Yet to be specific, in this case, the topic is about the religion of Islam.
Furthermore, one man who was as a former a Muslim and had lived in one of the Islamic nations of the Middle East but now he is Christian and an American citizen had explained in a book he wrote that “Driving into depths of the word of reasoned thinking and research in Islamic societies has always been costly. Some Muslims who have done this have even been excluded from their social rights and even sentenced to death.” [1]
[1] ISLAM AND THE SON OF GOD by Daniel Shayesteh page 70.
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